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Pages: Questions about cheating... [1]
Author Topic: Questions about cheating...

Posts: 2

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2011-02-08 17-06-26

Questions about cheating... I have been in a relationship for almost 5 years. Although I love and respect my spouse, I can't help thinking about other women. Not just in general, but in particular. If I was ever alone with this person in a social situation, I'm not sure I could behave myself. So far, I've made a conscious effort not to put myself in those situations, but the fact that I'm having strong feelings about other people is causing me distress. I've never cheated on anyone before, but as I get older I'm starting to understand why people cheat. It feels so strange to even admit this. Has anyone ever thought about cheating? Acted on it? What happened? I get the feeling I should just suppress these thoughts as best I can and try to keep my attention on my spouse. But it's difficult. I've also thought about suggesting an open relationship. Has anyone ever tried that? Did it work? Before you get on your high horse and tell me to "honor my vows", let me tell you that your desire for new people and experiences doesn't end when you say "I do". Until you have been there, don't lecture me. Thanks for "listening"...
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Posts: 4

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2011-02-09 10-20-16

my thoughts I've been cheated on. It was devastating. You will NEVER, I repeat NEVER, get %100 of the trust back. And saying "I'm not sure I could behave myself" is a cop out. You are in total control of your behaviors. Do the honorable thing. Don't cheat. Either talk to your spouse about an open relationship or get out of the marriage. We can think about other people all we want, but when you made that commitment you changed the game and have taken yourself off the playing field. Otherwise the commitment is meaningless.
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  • baumberger

    Posts: 14

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    2011-02-10 4-56-14-

    let me offer some advice... since I do not have a high horse to get off suggestion to you is to talk to your spouse. Tell her what you're feelings are or else burying them in you will only give you more distress. and you're right, just because you are married, does not mean you are dead - desires/experiences/feelings always exist... share them with you whom you married....set time just for the 2 of you to talk, really, you have to communicate with her, not us...
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  • boeker

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    Posts: 1

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    2011-02-10 8-36-35-

    Sound advice Suppressing has a way of making the thing suppressed feel even bigger and more urgent.
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    Posts: 16

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    2011-02-10 23-44-32

    we assume that her spouse is a woman because this is a woman 4 woman forum...
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  • molnar

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    Posts: 28

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    2011-02-11 14-36-40

    LOL! Well I understand that. But just because this is a forum necessarily means that her spouse if female. If the poster is married to a man, then he may be open to the other woman. Men are that way for the most part; not trying to be stereo-typical. If her spouse is female, then I understand why the spouse would have a hard time accepting another female. That was the point I was trying to get to.
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    Sr. Member
    Posts: 25

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    2011-02-12 4-30-36-

    Don't you have some heterosexual priviledge to enjoy.....somewhere else? blah blah blah....everything is fine when we share a woman because it really doesn't count, but when I fucked anohter man all of a sudden my husband freaked, because it was like breaking my marriage vows or something. And that is bad, Now we just fuck a woman and everything is fine. It's not cheating cause we share. Blah blah blah. I am so fucking sick of people like you. I don't want to hear about you and your husband and how you work your cheating out.
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  • immerman

    Posts: 17

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    2011-02-12 11-58-06

    Just out of... curiousity... What makes you think I condone this behavior? I am stating a fact of life. men are like this. But do you think women are like this as well? Don't blame me for bring to notice what goes on in everyday life. Blame the man.
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    Full Member
    Posts: 19

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    2011-02-15 15-13-16

    I don't want anything to do with your man get it? I am a lesbian, my life does not revolve around any man, nor do I want it to. If you want to converse here than come as a woman, alone, without having to be a reflection of a man.
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  • Berty

    Posts: 29

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    2011-03-24 13-23-14

    There is no MAN in this discussion! Get it??
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    Sr. Member
    Posts: 19

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    2011-04-10 7-39-08-

    all generalizations are correct.
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  • borowsky

    Posts: 30

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    2011-08-27 1-39-43-

    no, ALL generalizations are wrong. even this
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    2012-02-13 5-29-57-

    ok, both our statements cannot be right I think we're going to have to fight for it.
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    2012-11-09 0-47-58-

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    2013-08-09 10-10-24

    oh, I'll bring it! *shadowboxing*
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    2014-03-01 18-45-31

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    2015-06-18 13-08-00

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