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Pages: Lesbian Bed Death [1]
Author Topic: Lesbian Bed Death
seid

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Posts: 7

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2011-02-08 17-13-35

Lesbian Bed Death Real or not??? Lastnight as gf and I lay in bed she said that she didn't think she could have sex with me because of the baggage we have had in our relationship (together 10 years). I will be the first to admit that it has been sometime since the last time and that a lot has had to do with a lot of argueing and fighting, but I had never heard that excuse before. Is this what lesbian bed death is???? Someone help enlighten me on this.
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guttenberg

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Posts: 3

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2011-02-09 10-33-47

Bed Death... She has to realize that sex is part of any relationship, and this is not fair to you (trying to punish you??). People try and use SEX as a control thing, not cool!
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Shoshanna

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2011-02-10 4-14-37-

Lesbian Bed Death doesn't exist couples of all varieties experience this. Do you still feel passionate for her? Have you tried watching porn?
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  • lips

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    Posts: 6

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    2011-02-10 18-22-21

    Why not just take a vacation instead? You know, spend some time apart and alone and see how that feels for both of you? You may just be in a rut, like most long-term couples.
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  • morman

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    2011-02-11 9-25-35-

    Good idea, but we have a 3 year old to consider in the mix as well. You know the great Gayby Boom. We were very close and had a great time before and thought we were really ready for starting a family together. But since then life has been pretty stressful and hellish at times.
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  • jaques

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    2011-02-11 21-27-49

    Raising a family & still being able to schedule time for each other has to be a priority. I'm sure you both were ready to start a family, but people don't realize the toll it will take on the relationship. Everything starts becoming about the "family" meaning the and the relationship is pushed to the side. Sit with her and tell her you love her. Would she rather be Right or Loved?
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  • sauseda

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    2011-02-11 22-56-28

    Thanks
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    hinzman

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    Posts: 3

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    2011-02-12 16-50-40

    Why do we do this to one another? When we're single we yearn to find that "special" someone, then we do and stop appreciating them. Find a good therapist, 10 years is a lot of time invested. Good luck!
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    staszewski

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    Posts: 15

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    2011-02-23 6-34-41-

    I wonder if it's a societal issue Beacuse you're right- when we're single we'd kill to find someone to spend our lives with. Then we do, and we give up on each other, on ourselves, and/or on the relationship because it isn't as easy as we'd hoped. So, I say societal because our society has, for at least the last 100 years, been geared toward "making life simpler." Things that were considered advances, like the washing machine, dishwasher, microwave, telephone, fax machine, computer, etc., all were designed to increase efficiency while decreasing effort. Now, we're a society that wants everything RIGHT NOW (and I am definitely a product of this!), wants it quick and easy, no muss, no fuss, and especially with as little pain as possible. We've forgotten the value of hardship, of effort, and even of pain. Seems like now, if you don't fit together perfectly from the get-go, you're done, and if you don't continue to fit together, you're equally screwed. Sad.
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    rauth

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    2011-03-25 11-43-40

    or not screwed, as the case may be...
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    rutan

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    2011-07-03 5-16-06-

    A good screw would probably do us both good
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    adamski

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    2011-10-02 6-21-13-

    it's not that at all If you look back historiy, life expectancy was x years. When you were x, your dad married you off to some x year old guy. He croaked in x years (on average) and if you didn't die in birth, you were then free to move on to mate #x, who might be about your own age. Both of you might survive another x years, but statistics were against you. We're probably only designed to be able to stand another human for x or so years (your bliss milage may vary) So you see - we've opted for breakup and divorce since war, famine, disease, birth, poverty, malnutrition, etc. don't do the dirty work for us as much anymore.
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    narum

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    2012-01-07 13-13-10

    Well, that and the fact that you go to jail if you kill your spouse...
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    bergstrom

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    2012-09-25 5-15-49-

    not always *coughOJSIMPSONcough*
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  • pini

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    2013-04-20 10-12-17

    **chuckling** As usual, I stand corrected.
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  • lauffer

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    2015-01-02 18-25-12

    Let's face it... as we get a little older (ouch) we eventually realize that sex isn't everything - but it sure is something! Unfortunately, without that intimacy in a relationship you stop growing together and, in turn, grow apart. What are you going to do?
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  • stierwalt

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    2015-09-16 3-17-40-

    Weathering the storms... Wow, ten years is a long time. Why does it seem impossible to find someone committed to commitment. My parents have been married for x years. Trust me -- their marriage has been rocky more than not. But I don't think either of them would ever cheat and/or throw in the towel. Staunch Irish Catholics with three daughters,is divorced and the otherare lesbians. If that didn't rock their world - I don't know what could!
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    ports

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    2015-10-27 19-54-06

    I definitely feel that baggage can cause bed death. It happened to me. Even tho' we tried a lot, we couldn't seem to resolve the baggage and I didn't feel safe with her anymore. Have you tried to resolve the problems with therapy or anything? Good luck!
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