Free dating site

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: Alternative dating - Today hot theme: Profitable Florida Man 60 montreal casual dating Polo Boating Beaches Travel, Hot, put & can sponsor.!, fucking seeking Hassell NC
 
   Alternative dating   Help Login Register  
Pages: Sorta kinky minxy update: [1]
Author Topic: Sorta kinky minxy update:
vince

Sr. Member
Posts: 1

View Profile 
2011-02-08 13-51-06

Sorta kinky minxy update: Met with the former SO for lunch. We spent a few hours talking. I didn't know how to broach the subject.. I nearly did and then said "now's probably now a good time", anyway.. he wondered what I was going to say and I told him that I would like to be able to flirt with other men, that I would like to be able to fantasize about other men.... I told him that there are things I would like to try that aren't things that he would enjoy doing and it's not fair for me to ask him to do what doesn't feel right. I'm not sure what I want or why I want it, but that I would at least like to be able to find out. He wasn't offended or hurt... I thought he might be, but he wasn't. In short, he is open to the idea of having an "open relationship" assuming it's a don't ask , don't tell scenario and it's always practiced safely. Basiy, he wants me and he wants for me to be happy, and if me being happy means experimenting with other people, he would be okay with it, as long as he didn't have to hear about it. Now, this is all theoretcal at this point, some things look good on paper, but in RL they aren't. Also, this would go both ways. If he found someone, we would have the same rules. He didn't want to agree to that, but I really did insist. It just wouldn't be right not to. Also, he asked me if I could send him a list of the things I would like to try, so that maybe he could do a few of them. I've tried for over a year to get him interested... he isn't and it's truly against his nature and comfort z I don't expect for him to change *that* part of himself. Therapy. I asked about the couple's therapy again and was surprised when he asked me if therapy sometime this month would work for me. I thought it would be a few more months before he would be ready. So, while it's still not okay, at least there seems to be a touch of hope. I'm all for second chances (at least in most cases) and I'm willing to try. (His ADHD has been an issue and he's agreed to get it under control because he now sees that it has been a problem) So, what are your thoughts on open relationships?
single ladies 18411, adult date ideas Morehead NC, Crewe VA

bitton

Full Member
Posts: 3

View Profile 
2011-02-09 1-45-09-

Hello, Lady Minx... Well, as to someone who has just opened their marriage, its going just fine. There are no jealousy issues from either of us regarding our respective playmates. (some relationship problems, but no jealousy) As long as he knows you are coming home to him, and you are not flaunting it in his face(I know you would not, I am simply stating)then there should not be a problem. The same goes for you. If he finds a woman and has a tryst, who cares? If he is safe, and the only thing he brings home to you is flowers and dinner, then you know where his loyalty lies. Therapy: DAMN SKIPPY! Glad for you on SO many fronts.
Papa Bear looking for baby bear, massage fuck Centerton AR, Madison Center - Neudorf Saskatchewan
  • What do you folks think of MtF lesbians?
  • warning

    Sexy
    Posts: 6

    View Profile 
    2011-02-09 18-55-48

    LOL! I really appreciate your input earlier. I would not have even considered talking about the possibility of having had it not been for your post. I'm always telling people in here to communicate with their partners, you might be surprised.. Well SURPRISE!! at least in my case. It might not work, but it's at least a start. Whether I ever choose to find someone or not, it's nice to know that I can at least have some fun thinking about it.
    Let me show you how good it can be, married woman for sex Kennett MO, Maple Ontario, Kaunas, Yosemite Lakes CA - Seaside OR
    poissant

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 4

    View Profile 
    2011-02-09 23-37-16

    ((((((HUGS)))))) the journey of a thousand miles and you have taken your first step. I am glad I was able to help you, Lady Minx.
    Is this a waste of time?, reading married woman Hotchkiss -
  • Female looking for cock Tularosa
  • corson

    Sexy
    Posts: 8

    View Profile 
    2011-02-10 14-19-36

    it takes work trust and communication are the key. I do not believe in the don't ask do not tell aspect of it. In the I had every was okay when we talked about what was going to happen and then when that communication stopped is when things started to go down hill. Also it may not be something ether of you can actually do. like you said it looks god on paper but in actual application there are issues that may occur. It is important to be open about how you are feeling and how he is feeling. It neither of you are open about your feelings in a calm controlled manner things may not go well.
    Hot New teller at Chase Bank, dating divorced women - Freeburg PA, Hot Springs NC, Pineville WV, St-Zephirin Quebec
    armendariz

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 14

    View Profile 
    2011-02-11 7-05-03-

    *smiles sweetly* I'm always calm and controlled. Seriously though thank you, I think my excitement comes from the fact that we were able to have a conversation about it at all. I don't like the don't ask don't tell part either. He may change his mind after thinking about this (sleeping on it so to speak), and I told him that would be perfectly acceptable.
    Extremely horny tonight, meet for sex Georgina Ontario, Guayanilla PR - Hill Country Village
  • Dating marriage Perry Hall MD
  • Andee

    Member
    Posts: 5

    View Profile 
    2011-02-11 16-41-02

    the conversation is the first step. it should take time to work out how things are going to work. Expect bumps in the road as you sort it out because you will never really be sure about how you feel about things until it comes up usually in a negative way. Just remember that they did not know how it would effect you until it came up and it was not intentional.
    Wanting something Real, adult encounters - Richardson
  • Some photos I took in the past fortnight
  • Vrinda

    Sexy
    Posts: 5

    View Profile 
    2011-02-11 18-09-49

    I'm glad to see that you've reached a solution to things. Dax is right, an open relationship can work if enough trust is there. I hope therapy goes well..
    A friend to hang with, divorced dads - Hoquiam
    virag

    Hero Member
    Posts: 14

    View Profile 
    2011-02-11 20-09-27

    well it might not be a solution but it is at least an option. Thank you. :)
    Looking for Fall Romance?, chat room adult Thomas WV, Oconee GA -
    girls on cam palos Esterri d'Aneu, free sex 63042.
    jurgens

    Hero Member
    Posts: 8

    View Profile 
    2011-02-12 8-35-41-

    Hmmmm... I wonder if it would really be OK with you in the other direction--that is, he could experiment with other women as long as you didn't hear about it. That doesn't sound like something you'd actually be comfortable with (judging from other posts, I mean). I don't want to rain on the parade. But I wonder if he's agreeing to whatever you ask for just to keep you, rather than because he wholeheartedly endorses it. Proceed with caution. I do, though, very much believe in second chances and negotiation and trying to do things differently before just throwing in the towel. Fingers crossed for you, you lovely minx!
    I want a new man for fuckbuddies, dating online single Fort Valley GA -
  • Hello. You've reached an international
  • Alastair

    Newbie
    Posts: 9

    View Profile 
    2011-02-12 12-04-41

    *proceeds with caution* You got it Gai. In the past, he told me that he would like for me to find a female partner to help ease the sexual burden. I think he might actually be okay with it, regardless of the equipment so to speak. Negotiation might not work, but I feel better for having tried. (not going to talk about my way street feelings, I need more time on that issue) TY!
    Married guy seeks 40+ woman for afternoon fun and friendship., dating site for married people Los Trujillos-Gabaldon - Lantzville British Columbia, Ferguson IA
    girls on cam palos Esterri d'Aneu, free sex 63042.
    grupp

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 6

    View Profile 
    2011-02-15 18-56-16

    As long as he's not feeling that sex with another woman doesn't really "count" (I'm not saying he does, necessarily--but you know some men do).
    CHRISTIAN MALE LOOKING FOR FAITHFULWOMAN, maried female wanting for sex Wixom MI, Ballenger Creek, Breda, Scotch Plains NJ - McEwen TN, Shuangliao, Rayle, Dunster British Columbia
    Evvie

    User
    Posts: 65

    View Profile 
    2011-03-25 4-47-51-

    i'll have to agree with you gai on this one Also don't want to rain on your parade Minxy, but it almost sounds like you have already made your decisions as to what you want. Not that that is a bad thing. "Former SO"? I might be reading to much into that but it definately struck me as being past tense. Maybe nothing to it but it did set the tone for the rest of your post. I would be more inclined to say that he is trying to give you what you want to keep you, but in the end I think it will just push you away even more. Try therapy. But be open to his thoughts on your desires. Don't see them as personal attacks.
    true friends 18-38 wanted, horney ebony women -
  • GF and I went to the ceremonial wedding gardens
  • norland

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 27

    View Profile 
    2011-07-27 23-27-50

    I past tensed us when it was what I thought I had to do to get over it. I can see that this could be a huge mistake. It's a very new thought for both of us, so I'm not exactly counting on it. But there is at least hope, the hope that he wants for me to be happy. Even if I never act on it, he was willing to consider it and that matters. I have more reservations about this than I have shared on the forum for various reasons. He isn't my SO again, because he isn't entirely sure that he wants to be in all respects. He wants to believe in "us" but he isn't quite there yet. I hope that therapy will help him figure things out for himself.
    Big cock wants attention bad!, onlein sex - Orlando Florida
  • Meet locals for sex free ElfCove AK
  • petit

    Full Member
    Posts: 22

    View Profile 
    2011-12-30 11-52-28

    I just hope that whatever issues you and him have that this won't add to them. It's good that he is open to your ideas and thoughts though. That shows the lines of communication aren't completely g I feel for you though. :) *hugs*
    ISNT IT TIME THAT PEOPLE FOUND EACH MANY OTHER., sex shops Bass River New Jersey, Newton Junction New Hampshire - Summerfield Louisiana, El Dorado California, Drury, Mill Creek Indiana
  • Single black male Summer Shade
  • samet

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 76

    View Profile 
    2012-09-06 22-02-32

    *comes clean* The biggest roadblock at this point is his fear of my past (a past that I did not choose or create). Even though he has ADHD, if I have (even a managable) mental disorder (had enough therapy to know btw.. I had PTSD and that's all) later in life.. it would be a deal breaker. I'm guilty until proven innocent... hence the therapy. The more I write about the OR, the more I start to see the potential downsides... I appreciate the fact that kinkfo is such a great sounding board. :) Thank you blind sided.
    LQQKING on a Sweet Girl, sex for woman Grass Valley OR, Fallentimber Pennsylvania -
    elman

    Full Member
    Posts: 9

    View Profile 
    2013-04-10 14-58-59

    tried not to go all Dr phil on ya Well you both deserve to be happy, even if its not with each other. That's the hardestto accept. Keep your head up Minxy. :) For the most part we are all learning from each other on the fo'. :)
    relax your for good hands after which you can some, naughty personals online Leshara NE, Berlin, Lake Ridge Virginia, Edgarton -
    Katleen

    Member
    Posts: 43

    View Profile 
    2014-10-26 6-25-15-

    Like most things it's complicated. I'll deal either way. and TY. :) really and truly.. I know it's hard to give advice when you don't have all the pieces... so thank you. *kisses*
    Whats your ex name, Virginia basic?, relationship dating site Winneconne - Clifton, Woodworth, Bullhead South Dakota, Meyersdale PA

    mahaffy

    User
    Posts: 35

    View Profile 
    2015-09-10 15-22-56

    Hi minxy My ex husband an I had an open marriage for many years, and although the marriage in the end was not salvagable, it gave us more years together while we were raising small ...which was good, I think. There were many things about having an open relationship that were wonderful and helpful to me, but having had the experience I don't think I will ever do it again. It takes an amazing amount of love, trust, respect, honesty, self worth and open hearted communication. And everybody has bad days once in a while...which is generally when things blow up. Things blew up for me when I became pregnant (with his )...hormones and vulnerability became an emotional nightmare! Anyway - I ran across this philosophy of sex website today, and found this little tidbit...it sort of relates. I find it very hard not to fall madly in love with a man I am intimate with...which makes having more thanpartner (when it's not like a threesome) very difficult. Sex trap The research also suggests sex is booby-trapped to make partners bond. "Your body has evolved over millions of years withaim - to go forth and multiply, so while having may not be on the agenda just yet your body has a few tricks up its sleeve to drag you in that direction," he said. According to the research the morepeople have sex together, the more likely they are to bond. "We all know you can have sex without falling in love but if you have enough sex with the same person there's a good chance you will hit the body's booby-trap which is there to tip you head over heels into love," said Dr Marsden. "So your body goes all out to make you bond with your partner and that makes love highly addictive and the withdrawal sucks." (BBC News)
    terribly hostile things, pregnant sex - Bellevue Michigan
    Sex services in hervey bay, Women want sex Marion South Carolina.


    Related Posts

     

    Report Abuse

    Valid CSS! Powered by SMF 1.1.11 | SMF © 2006-2009, Simple Machines LLC Valid XHTML 1.0!