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Pages: I know it's Saturday.. and late but [1]
Author Topic: I know it's Saturday.. and late but
Pritchard

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Posts: 3

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2011-02-08 20-08-38

I know it's Saturday.. and late but On Curtseying Tarn Birds and Butchered Pronouns A much needed dose of reality A soapbox speech by Lord Colm It's a curious thing to observe. Sometimes disturbing, sometimes amusing. Always disappointing. The Web is a powerful medium of communication, particularly in the relatively closed society we refer to as the "BDSM community." Small bits of misinformation and misconception seem to spread like wildfire amongst the online BDSMers. So willingly they accept nearly any idea uttered in this digital world. Without thought to verifying, validating, or questioning, distortions are adopted as truth and transplanted onto yet another web site, perpetuating misperception. And in this world where "whatever says is true--is true," a concept posted on more than web site is suddenly transformed into a tradition dating back innumerable years. Hogwash. Some things are facts. Some things aren't. Not accepting that something is a fact doesn't change the fact that it is a fact. Case in point. From a site we recently visited: "[We] lived with BDSM and D/s intertwined...." Yet another person posted in our guest book, referring to the section where it asks for your primary interest (B&D, SM, and D/s are the options): "I didn't see BDSM listed...." News flash! BDSM stands for "Bondage & Discipline," "Domination/submission," and "Sadism/masochism." It's not BD/SM. It's not a technique. It's not what you are. It isn't a particular form of "play." It is a term that describes three groups of people: Those who primarily prefer B&D, those who primarily identify with D/s, and those who mainly consider themselves sadists or masochists. doesn't "do" BDSM. may be a member of the BDSM community, however--a general term that encompasses a lot of different practices and attitudes. would think that as relatively small as our community is, something as fundamental as this would be lesson Unfortunately, it doesn't appear to be. More accurately, it doesn't appear to be correctly defined and used in this online pop BDSM culture where it's cool to be a dom or sub (not to mention Wiccan if you're a domina).
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michele

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2011-02-09 12-06-24

pt 2 Issue Two: Bizarre online customs that have no basis in reality or even rational adult thought. Let's examine some of the more wide-spread results of uninformed inbreeding. B/butchered c/Capitalization: Personal pronouns seem to be quite a source of consternation. Dominants who refer to "Y/you," submissives who use "W/we" when referring to a mixed dominant/submissive couple. Even worse, some people are so clueless that they randomly mix capitalization of words that have no relation to the supposed intent of the practice. I don't know about you, dear reader, but I am fluent enough in the English language to be able to distinguish the proper meaning of personal pronouns. I don't need useless, grammatiy incorrect capitalization and spelling to understand the written words of others. I've always wondered what these people do when they are actually speaking. I envision it something like this: "You..capital y...you..lower case y all...upper case a...all..lower case a...are very kind. Thank you..upper case y..you...lower case y...for your...upper case y...your...lower case y...hospitality." It's absurd, to say the least. And it's just as absurd when written that way. Don't insult my intelligence by assuming that I can't tell when singular and collective personal pronouns are being used.Submissives addressing dominants with "Milord" and "Milady." Worse, addressing dominants with arcane personal pronouns such as "Thee" and "Thy." Submissives, I am not your lord. You do know that "Milord" is a contraction for "My lord," right? It is presumptuous of you to claim me as your anything. I do not own you. I do not rule over you. Those rights are reserved for the dominant to whom you willingly surrender such power.Now, as to addressing me as "Thee." Here's a little history lesson in the English language. The words "thee," "thine," and "thy" are familiar forms of address, much as we still see in many other foreign languages. For example, "Vous" and "tu" in French.
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  • Sangman

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    2011-02-10 7-30-39-

    pt3 The familiar form of address is reserved for close family members, spouses, and ren. In some cultures it is appropriate for those senior in status to refer to those who are junior in this manner, but it is never appropriate for those junior to address seniors in this way. As such, you've got it completely backwards. This practice seems to have made its way into some online groups based on a complete misunderstanding of its proper meaning and use. Perhaps from reading too much fiction or attending too many Renaissance fairs. An amusing adjunct to this is the 48683 chatter who feels compelled to refer to dominants as "Worthies." This would be downright laughable if it weren't for the fact that folks who frequent those chat rooms actually believe that this ludicrous practice is longstanding and widely accepted real-life etiquette in the lifestyle. Here's a clue bird for you: You're off in a world all to yourselves. A good dose of reality is in order. What's next on my hit list? Ah, yes. Curtseying. Another of those practices perpetuated by the BDSM members of the Society for Creative Anachronisms, I assume. Curtseying isn't a standard practice in the real-life world of our community. It's a purely online role-playing custom. When we do see it now and again in real life, it never fails that the person learned about BDSM online.
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  • shepperson

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    2011-02-10 22-54-01

    pt4 Here's that should raise a few hackles. Asking permission to enter a chat room. I hate to burst your cyber bubble, but the person is already in the chat room/channel when he or she asks! Shouldn't people get a cyber flogging or something for entering without asking? I'm sure 100 lashes with a cyber crop would do wonders for them, since "*THWAP*" translates so well to the searing pain that a hard stroke from a real-life crop would cause. While I'm on a roll, I may as well say my piece about those Trekkers of D/s: the Goreans. You know what a Trekker is, right? Someone who tries to live life based on a sci-fi series, dressing the part, acting the role, blurring fantasy with reality. Well, Goreans fit this definition perfectly. man's otherworldly fiction has been grabbed up as an entire lifestyle for cyber BDSMers. Now, I don't suppose that it has ever occurred to them that paga isn't real. Nor is Gor a place where female dominants could exist. But they do in the fantasy roll playing of these lost souls. Forget the inconsistencies; they just like escaping from reality and pretending to be great warriors while munching potato chips in their underwear while wifeypoo is out shopping with the . Reality check here, folks. You're not a warrior. You're not on another planet. You don't have a homest And tarns are a product of your overactive imagination and having way too much idle time on your hands. And please. When you visit my home, leave your musty old animal hides outside. more thing: building camp fires within the city limits is a misdemeanor. I think I've managed to infuriate enough folks for now. Stay tuned. There is plenty more silliness to expose in the months to come. I'll leave you with a quote of mine to ponder: "In the clash between reality and fantasy, reality is always the victor." The Castle Realm's Soapbox Series Copyright┬ę*** by Lord Colm All rights are reserved by the author.
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  • Dyann

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    2011-02-11 13-49-41

    I think part of it is that this place feels safe, there are some fantasy folks here, that never practice, but they are still curious. The role play helps them live out something that perhaps they are afraid to try. They live through others and sometimes they get it wrong. I'm not sure why anyone would give you a negative for posting. I started out with a role playing online relationship and I realized it was something that really was a part of me. Not everyone will take it to the streets but they do want to watch from the sidewalk. I say more power to 'em. I like to be watched anyway.
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    Rieni

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    2011-02-11 20-16-44

    Oh, No dear I get negged cause of who I am not what I post. I can post on topic totally kink/bdsm/fetish related and still get negged.
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    nelina

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    2011-02-12 13-04-10

    I have noticed that a few people get the negs. Is there some lurker who deems themself the rater of all posts, what's the big deal?
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    dejarnett

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    2011-02-17 1-34-24-

    ah, some feel I post too much * I type 140-160 wpms* and that they think I try and "own" the forum. What they don't know is I like some of the people here.. I wished that when I first started in the lifestyle that there was a place like this. I love to share and I don't give a flying fuck what they think about me. I will share my kink cause well some want to hear it. And that post I just posted.. someone asked for it.
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    pole

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    2011-03-18 11-26-25

    Role play at being kinky? Please explain that to me?
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  • bordelon

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    2011-07-11 8-03-55-

    i was referring to this statement that surfer made, and paraphrased poorly: "there are some fantasy folks here, that never practice,"
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  • mercedes

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    2011-12-12 20-35-27

    Oh, Ok.
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  • corinna

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    2012-08-03 6-16-36-

    When I first split with my x I was basiy homeless. I lived in a wharehouse owned by my brother-in-law and I felt like I had been thrown off a the merry-go-round. I was dizzy and the world was still spinning. Somehow I found a group on spanking (I was always curious) I met a woman there and we started having an online relationship. She always wanted me to tell her dark bondage and dominance stories. We would email back and forth and basiy masturbate while talking about all of the nasty things I would do to her. (she loved hearing about my wharehouse) Then she really freaked me out and it was over but I had a taste and then I wanted the real thing.
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    lamarche

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    2013-03-17 13-35-48

    i'm glad you shared this. it is a perspective i had not considered. thanks surfer dude.
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  • haneline

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    2014-09-25 21-52-01

    you may never discovered your truth had it not been for the fantasy, right?
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  • mccay

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    2015-08-30 22-56-41

    exactly we sent pictures back and forth and talked about meeting and it was a blast, but the stories I wrote about taking her and tying her up and leaving her in my dark storeroom and coming in and using her when I wanted...I didn't know where all the creativity of the story came from until I realized that I had always thought about it.
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    Chere

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    2016-04-03 4-03-24-

    My take on it: fantasy is safe With fantasy, we can be anyone, do anything, and last for however long. In fantasy there is little disappointment and almost no "bloopers". It's totally understandable to me that some would be unwilling to make things "real". It's not always easy or possible to overcome the fantasy and take the step into real life. :)
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