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Pages: Poll: are you in or are you out? [1]
Author Topic: Poll: are you in or are you out?
erby

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2011-02-08 19-21-22

Poll: are you in or are you out? Of the closet that is. If you are out was comming out as hard as you thought it would be? Were there any suprises? example: My Mom said she always knew. ME: Out I don't think I was ever in though. Not as hard as I thought but my family is not typical by any means. And yes there were suprises my Mom did say that she always knew and that she has had her own experiences with women. I was stunned.
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kwiatek

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2011-02-09 4-58-23-

OUT at 19...no, biggie. Family loves me, period!
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Fan

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2011-02-09 18-38-16

My Dad died not knowing...he was 88 No reason to rock his world. Mom died years ago back when I was trying to be "straight." No other relatives. Out at work, neighborhood, etc. Conservative when around the kid's friends, i let it sink in slowly. It really is not much of an issue when you are single.
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highland

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2011-02-10 11-50-47

Oh, yeah.... PFLAG! I heart PFLAG, but when Mom seemed freaked about my super-gayness, I mentiond that there is a group ed PFLAG for parents of gays, and she said "Well, we're very supportive, but we won't be marching in any parades." Ooooookayyyyy.....
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  • torrey

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    2011-02-11 4-04-25-

    Out.... I used to joke that every asshole in a passing pickup truck knew I was gay, but it took me years to come out to my folks. I am sure they already knew, they had the good grace to act midly surprised (and my Mom, even midly appalled) when I finally did drop the G-bomb. All is well now, especially considering their generational baggage.... Most other people I meet in life seem to rashly assume I'm gay, so coming out to sundry people is never much of an issue.
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    claiborne

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    2011-02-11 8-27-06-

    i'm too obviously gay to be in coming out was unbelievably easy!
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    cassar

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    2011-02-11 20-31-27

    i shaved my head once it was not a lot of fun. i realized how important hair is to me.
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    oppenheim

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    2011-02-12 0-06-24-

    Great Poll! Out for 2 years. Told family before friends Coming out to my family was the most cathartic experience of my life. Harder than I thought it would be. I've never cried so much, felt so drained. My family's liberal. I knew they wouldn't disown me, I just didn't want them to be disappointed in me. Biggest Surprise: My mother's first words after I dropped the bomb: "You couldn't have told us over the phone?" (I went on the bus for 8 hours to tell them in person) She didn't understand the magnitude of the news. And they were disappointed that I wouldn't have this life they'd imagined for me. They worry about me. I send them books. It's been sinking in for years. My mother still thinks I'll change my mind day. I haven't brought anyone home. When I talk about dating my mom will change the subject. Surprise with my dad: I was more worried about his reaction than my mother's. I overheard him talking her down at 3am "She wasn't happy with those boys, so maybe this is the right thing." I've never loved him more. Surprise with my friends: No was surprised. Their reaction was "Ooooooh. Of course. That makes sense." I'm kinda out at work. Not in anyway. If someone asks about my weekend, and I mention I had a date, no inquires any further. This may change if/when I finally settle into a LTR.
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    mcnitt

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    2011-02-12 18-21-30

    out to everyone but my bro & dad. my dad is 73 and I don't have much of a relationship with him, so I probably won't tell him. I would love to tell my brother, but he's hard to talk to alone - usually my nephews are around, or we're with the whole family, so it's a matter of logistics. I've told his wife, and she was very supportive and we both know he would take it well, since we're so close. I wouldn't say it was hard - it was mostly surprising, as you can never tell how people will react. my sisters were mostly supportive, but now and then they'll say something ignorant so I have to correct them, which is awkward and annoying. my sister-in-law, who's known me for more than 10 years, was surprised but happy for me. I still haven't learned the right word to describe my mother's reaction, which was initially confusion and doubt, but gradual acceptance mixed with usual motherly suspicion of anyone dating her youngest .
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    brockel

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    2011-02-27 6-42-20-

    Out since 15
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  • Malissa

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    2011-05-17 17-38-09

    Out. It's so nice to be out at work and not have to worry about what I tell them about my weekend activities. My family said they already knew when I told them x years ago, but it was good to have the conversation. Some friends when I first came out acted like it was just a phase...they didn't get it. The family has been really good re my recent break-up...making sure that I'm not alone when I don't want to be and including me in all the family activities. My sister said that nobody could say that I didn't try to make it work and that felt really supportive.
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  • lare

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    2011-10-02 17-58-26

    out... at x.. was dating a woman and almost broke up with her because i wasn't spending as much time with my family and they didn't know about her.. so instead of breaking up with her i dealt with my own shit and told my sister.. very long pause on the ph . and she didn't get it.. then ed my mom and told her.. and her response was.. "well... i still love you..." that's all i needed to hear.. think my mom told my dad years later.. i told my little brother a few years later and his reaction was "duh... like i didn't know that..." they love me for me.. my dad still thinks i'll find some guy that will show me how it is.. but he never says this to me.. i get his opinions via my little brother.. who thinks my dad is crazy for even thinking something like that.. :)
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  • sakowski

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    2011-11-06 3-47-20-

    your fam sounds like a good candidate for the dr phil house
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    tzila

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    2012-05-24 10-32-00

    I had to that since I haven't watched tv for so long. Actually, my family's episode of the Dr. Phil House would get the lowest ratings ever since it would consist of all of us sitting in separate rooms and not speaking.
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    sebastiana

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    2013-02-10 13-50-29

    Oh my god, really? "you can still write poetry if you aren't GAY, dear!" I don't mean to laugh at your family stuff, but that is priceless....
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  • natividad

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    2013-03-04 14-36-04

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    olah

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    2014-03-02 5-11-40-

    waiting for x. my sister to have her kid, so I could meet it. Sis and bro-in-law are very prejudiced and don't really care too much about me. x. my dad to die. However, I'm out to my friends and at work. "With that haircut in this town?" I look like a marine now.
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    collin

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    2014-08-31 16-26-02

    Do you get along with dad? That sucks you sis and Bro-in-law don't care too much about you. I hope the suprise you, cause my nephew is amazing and you should get to know yours.
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  • shakil

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    2015-08-22 16-19-24

    They, I hope they suprise you.
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  • eader

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    2016-03-13 0-55-22-

    yeah, I get along fine with my mom and three other people in my family who are in India, but having a (former) runaway daughter is different from having a gay (former) runaway daughter. As for my niece or nephew, I'm expecting her or him to knock on my door when they turn x and want to ditch the parental units-- move in with the "rebel" aunt and all that.
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